TO LOST FRIENDS
Mar. 27th, 2015 04:40 amL I’m ok by myself but you have to agree we make a pretty good team and I don’t want to lose that. I never wanted to lose that, miss that.
M I miss you. Sometimes, I get hopeful, like you’ll come back and rescue our broken friendship, but it’s damaged beyond repair.
We’ve lost it.
L I never wanted to lose you but I’m a ticking time bomb, we both know that.
As my mind counts down faster and faster, my heart skipping seconds as I’m thrown into absolute hysteria.
10,8,5,2,1
M Explosion -- scattered hearts, scattered memories
Scattered, shattered, and battered
I can’t remember exactly what happened but all I know is I can’t move -- I can’t think.
L I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe
But you’re telling me to
Breathe, you say, as if it’s the simplest thing in the universe, as if there’s not a ball of clay in my throat, not a haze of panic clouding my mind. You say it as if my life hasn’t become a low quality movie download, where the sound is off a few seconds and the picture is too pixilated.
M The air hitches in my throat and I feel like I’m drowning -- can you tell?
I can see the tears welling in your eyes, a sea against the bluest of skies
I want to tell you it will be okay -- but I’m stuck.
I’m lost in this world of nothing and I can’t find my way back. Please find me.
L My mind is a perpetual lost and found, filled with gloves and stability that no one wants to claim. I can tell you won’t claim me.
I can tell by your stony grip, I can tell by your completely ineffectual commands.
I can tell by the way you won’t even look at me.
Like I’m some kind of embarrassment, some crybaby you’re being forced to look after. A nuisance.
M I’m afraid to look your way, out of fear that you won’t be looking back.
Will you look back?
I feel ashamed, like a child stranded in the aisles of a grocery store.
I can tell you’re angry. I know. I just know.
L&M Friends like us could let this go
But you stopped looking at me as a friend a long time ago.